Sabotage

Here's the scenario: someone walks up to you and they look good but there's something about them that kinda turns you off. You can't quite put your finger on it but something's bugging you about them. Maybe they have kids? Do they have any debt?  Maybe they're credit's messed up? Girlfriend/boyfriend on the side? Is he/she cheap? Are they gay?!?!?

Stop...

Are you this person? The one who goes through every possible scenario of a person trying to talk to you the moment they walk up to you? Do you try to find everything wrong with a person before they even say hello? Well don't worry, surprisingly you're not alone. I am in that club also where I play a relationship out in my head before it happens, and the only person I'm hurting is myself.

I find myself setting up such great expectations for a person to come into my life that I don't allow any margin for error in a potential mate. And that's just not fair to a potential date because they don't know that they already failed a test they didn't know they were taking. The problem is most of the time I have an ideal of what I want in a relationship. It would be  the picture of a perfect romance and any deviation from that plan is an instant fail. So I look for things to be wrong with this person or find an excuse for me not to get too close to someone who may be different from what I'm looking for. All the while never considering this person may be what I NEED instead of what I WANT. And on top of that, I want them to love me just for who I am with no questions asked.What the hell am I thinking? And who's to say that it's even going to be that deep with this person? (Deep sigh...release) Sometimes you just got to learn to things 'be' sometimes and not set yourself up or the one that may be interested in you up for failure.

Maybe I just need to get out of my own head and stop being so overly analytical of everything. Do ya'll agree?

It seems as though, most of the time we want someone to love us with unconditional love but we give our love out with many conditions. I've come to realize you can't ask someone to love you for you if u put a limit on who you love. If you have expectations for who and what your looking for in a person and won't leave any 'wiggle room' that person to have an error you will forever be lonely. And if you're searching for someone with no flaws, you might as well build yourself a partner cuz it ain't happening.

All of this is to say, don't set parameters on the ones who may want to love you. They may not be everything that you're looking for but they might give you enough to where you can be happy.

Until next time folks '...Keep calm and carry on'