And That's What It's All About

I'm a in a bit of dilemma...

I usually hate holiday themed posts because they always come off as contrived and corny, but dammit if I don't love em for the same reason. Thanksgiving is no different, but this year in particular the holiday spirit is hitting me extra hard. I don't think there's been a time in my life that I have been more thankful to be in the position I am in doing the things I love with the people I care about the most. I truly appreciate everything that I have gone through this year to become the person that I am today.

There's an old saying that, 'To whom much is given, much is tested' and lord knows I have been tested this year. And if I had a chance to do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing.

This year, I have gone through family issues, personal issues, and many questions of my faith only to come out stronger and more determined to be great while helping the people around me. I now truly know that through God's grace and the love of the people who care for us dearly that the only person that can stop any of us, is ourselves.

So I would just like say to all of my family, please hold the relationships we have with each other closely. At the end of the day, we are all we have in the end when friends let us down and when life gets too tough. Continue to learn, grow, laugh, and treasure all of the memories that you can. But most importantly to tell the ones that you love you love them while they are still here because you never know what may happen and tomorrow is never promised.

To all of my friends, be thankful and appreciate every precious moment you may encounter because those priceless moments are irreplaceable gifts. For those are the moments that make life so special, not how much you can buy.

So before I become to long winded, I would like to say that I am thankful for family, friends, and the precious moments in life that allow sappy holiday posts such as this one possible. To God be the glory and LETS GET TO EATING!!!


Until next time folks '...Keep calm and carry on'

Mean What You Say and Say What You Mean

I've been having some very insightful conversations lately with some of my freinds about relationships lately. And what is interesting about them all is that they have to do with the communication aspect of how they interact with people they're dealing with. More specifically most of what they were talking about had to deal with relaying certain messages to their significant other on the dynamics of their relationship. It was interesting to hear what they had to say on the subject because I always come from a different POV.

The one point that really stuck out to me the most in all of their stories was when each of them proclaimed they didn't want a relationship with the person they were dealing with but were doing relationship actions. What part of the game is that? You want to play house with them but not purchase the home? And that my friends is where the dilemma lies; you can't say you don't want something serious to happen with someone else and do the opposite without it leading to all types of confusion.

Sure, you can make it clear in SAYING that you don't want something to happen but as the old addage goes 'actions speak louder than words'. You can't honestly expect the other person in a situation that 'is what it is' (Sidebar: I hate that saying when it comes to relationships...it really grinds my gears) to not catch feelings after a while if you are 'playing relationship' for a significant amount of time. Regardless of what people say, everyone catches feelings at one point or another. You can't fault the other party for hoping that a relationship will develop if your words ultimately don't match up with what you're doing.

On the flip side, falling for someone is a choice that the other person decided to make. If said person chooses to fall for that person after they say they are not willing to be 100% in it, then you can't really blame the other party for what you decided to do. Nobody told you you have to be in that relationship, it was a conscious decision that person ultimately put on themselves. And as one of my dear friend say, which is secretly the gospel 'Life is all about decisions'.

Be that as it may, most of the problems that were brought up in the various situations that were explained to me could be solved by having your words and your actions correspond with one another. Simply saying something to a person you want to deal with ultimately means nothing if you do actions to prove otherwise. If you just mean what you say and stand stedfastly stand behind that it can really clean up most of the mess that most people go thorugh.

Sigh...the beat goes on

Until next time folks '...Keep calm and carry on'

When Life Kicks You In The Nuts

People often say that when it rains it pours, but I think they forgot to add the part where the tornado and the tsunami come in too to make one big mess. The real world is a big and scary place that has you experience either the highest of highs or the shittiest of lows with little room in between. This is SO not how it was supposed to work out. Things were supposed to be great and everything runs smoothly; yeah you'll have your trials but there will be a happy ending.

Boy how wrong was I?

When you're growing up it seems as though you imagine the life you want and never think of what will happen if things don't go that way. Then all of a sudden, life hits you and things start to get a little grim. All of the big plans you had for yourself and agenda's you set to seek out start shifting to the side in an effort just to get by.

Classic case of a dream deffered...

I like to title this 'When Life Kicks You in the Nuts' because if you have ever experienced such a pleasure they are sort of comparable. As one that has been hit in the nuts many times I can definitely say that the pain encountered in both situations leave you in a certain place. A place that can only be described as when devastation kicks in. At that particular moment you're on the floor (both physically and metaphorically in their respecitve places) asking where did I go wrong and why did I make this decision? Your kind of in a place where you feel like you'll never get past this pain and all hope is lost for any kind of recovery.

But then the pain starts to subside and you can start seeing straight again. You get to a point where you can get back on your feet and brush off all the hurt. At that point it seems like what you just experiened really wasn't as bad as when you initially got hit in your metaphorical 'nuts'.

All of this is to say that anguish and hard times are only temporary, and getting hit in the nuts (metaphorically and physically) really sucks but the pain will pass. So when your going through life and get a swift kick to the jewels, remember to breathe and readjust your groin to deal with the pain. Walking it off always makes everything better.

Until next time folks '...Keep calm and carry on'

Can You Let Me Miss You?

I don't know if it's just me, but I really have a problem with people I'm talking to being too available. It's such a turnoff to know that you're ALWAYS there whenever I call. I know this may sound a little shallow and petty of me but hey it is what it is. Especially, if it's early in a potential relationship GOD I HATE THAT!!! It's just something about always being 'there', that irritates my soul.

Now don't get me wrong, I like when people show a genuine interest in me when trying to get to know me but there is a time when it becomes too much. I figure if we have a good relationship communication wise, then you won't need to check in on me every couple of minutes to see what I'm doing. Naturally I would want to let you know what I'm doing and I'll reach out to you.

I'm the kind of person that if all the mystery and intrigue about you is gone, I'm ultimately over you. I need something to look forward with the person I'm talking to and if I always know you're there then there's a good chance I'll get over you quickly. I say that because chances are the relationship will be like a microwave relationship; everything happens so quickly you can't truly appreciate the time it took to make it. What's funny is that I can identify with the 'always there' part because it's happen to me. Walking contradiction I know, but the situation always seems different when it happens to you.

Maybe the trick to not seeming like you're there all the time is to just pace yourself with contacting that person. Anytime you feel yourself being a nuisance to your potential mate, you probably are.

Until next time folks '...Keep calm and carry on'

Are Omissions Signs Of Betrayal?

For anyone close to me, they know that I think Brittany Murphy is the quintessential white woman. And as the quintessential white woman I loved everything she has done, god rest her soul. (In case you were wondering this has something to do with my point so just bare with me lol) One of my favorite movies from her is called 'Little Black Book', which is a story about a girl in a relationship that she was having doubts about and wanted to check out how he treated his ex-girlfriends. So she decided that she would do some investigating on her boyfriend to see what he may be hiding from her and through a quirky journey of discovering info about his ex-dates and self discovery she finally came to the climax. And in the climax she said a line that really stuck with me in regards to relationships I always wondered about. She said 'Omissions are signs of betrayal' after finding out about all of the details he 'conveniently' neglected to tell her.

Hmmm...

After I heard that I really got to thinking about that particular subject and wondered if you choose to omit certain details about your past relationships is that really a sign of betrayal? Or is the omission just a way to keep the peace in the relationship? Think about it, is it truly the best policy when 'what you don't know won't kill you?' Or is it best to be open and honest about everything to avoid the 'gotcha gotcha' trap attempt that eventually come up?

For me I feel, honesty is the best policy and should be applied in this particular scenario. But as we all know things aren't always as simple as that when the truth is told. But if you truly care about someone enough to tell them the truth you should suck it up and deal with the consequences. And I for one am a believer in if you ask me a question be prepared for an honest answer because if you ask then you should be prepared for whatever the outcome may be. Hopefully what you have to ask for me to reveal isn't too bad though, you might get your feelings hurt.

Until next time folks '...Keep calm and carry on'

I Hate This Part

I think the only thing that irritates me more than failure, is being wrong.

I don't know if it's the whole notion of not being able to say 'I told you so' or just the not right-ness of the whole thing, but it really irritates my soul. But alas, I have to come to the realization that I will not be right in every scenario. I think I'm getting better at admitting that I'm wrong at some things but a part of me still dies every time I have to do so. Is this what growing pains are all about, because if they are then check me out now.

Even though I hate admitting that I'm wrong or even considering that I'm wrong in certain things, I still find ways to make myself right in the situation. That's my Aquarian nature, we will find a way for our voice to be heard and a way for us to be right in any scenario ;)I know, I know it's terrible but hey that's apart of my charm, and you'll grow to love it right? Right =/

Sigh...

I swear this is the hardest thing to do sometimes, but people are right when they say admitting you're wrong really helps you grow. In any situation you won't be right 100 percent of the time and I'm starting to realize that this may be a good thing.

Admitting your inadequacies and even the mere that you're wrong says a lot about you. It encourages growth and allows you to see things through a different spectrum. So as much as it pains me to say this, 'My name is Kyle and i'm not always right'. That wasn't so bad =)

Until next time folks '...Keep calm and carry on'

Wearing Your Mother's Heels

Have you ever had something that you secretly wanted to do or carry out but you know if ANYBODY found out you would die a silent death? I think we all do, but it’s these secret fetishes that we all have that give us the ultimate rush in life and the fact that it’s our little secret makes it that much more fun. I like to think of this like the phase when some young boys wear their mother’s heels. You know that one thing we all want to do, just to see what it feels like to be something other than what we are supposed to be like.

It’s my personal belief that all people, regardless of whatever lifestyle you live, have a secret obsession that you don’t want to admit you do to the world. It’s like a personal voyage into a world that isn’t meant to be known by everyone else. And in most cases it’s absolutely necessary to keep your sanity.

We spend so much time conforming to society and fitting into the ideals of what others think we should be doing that we loose sight of what we ultimately want to do to make us happy. Whether it be for your personal life, in business, in a relationship, anything it’s important to keep your sense of self. Yeah you may have some quirks and things about you that may not be seen as ‘acceptable’ to many, but fuck ‘em. That’s right fuck ‘em. You’re equivalent of ‘stepping in your mother’s heels’ is what makes you, YOU.  And as we should all know by now, I am the biggest advocate of doing whatever makes you happy.

So live your life for you, and do that freaky thing you do. Put your mother’s heels on, but just make sure they’re the right size for you.

Until Next Time folks ‘…Keep Calm and Carry On’

Decisions, Decisions...

Have you ever stopped to consider how much you would invest into someone to be in a relationship?

I mean really, you go through all of these emotions and feelings to try and be with someone for what? For a hypothetical ‘game’ being played to see who will admit to liking the other first? For a whole bunch of strain and self evaluation of whether or not it’s even worth it in the end? So many questions but not enough answers…

Sigh.

When can you truly know when you've gotten to a point where you feel like all your struggles and sacrifices to be in this relationship are working out in your favor? Is there a set moment when you can truly realize if this is the best situation for you? I've been racking my mind lately on what the ultimate cost-benefit analysis of a potential relationship is.

I don’t know what works for you, but as far as I’m concerned there is a cost benefit analysis that must be done and put into further review before a decision of an acquisition of a relationship can be made. It just has to be done!!! In my opinion, you HAVE to weigh pro’s and con’s of every situation a potential mate is giving you personality/psychologically/financial wise to protect your heart. This is important because the beginning of a courting process is where you can figure out what you are and aren’t willing to put up with from said person. Not to mention gauging how much crazy this person potentially has, because we’re all a little loco in the grand scheme of things. But I digress…

The purpose of the relationship cost-benefit analysis is to see how much you would be profiting from the time you’re investing into someone based off of the emotional output they are giving you. If it’s not a mutual give and take in terms of communication and general respect, then it’s a shaky investment to put your emotional stock in and you should probably fall back. But if you are seeing a generous return on your investment, then it might be time to buy into this relationship. 

I understand not everyone’s standards for a great return on investment in a relationship cost benefit analysis are the same but just make sure there is a standard. And make sure you stand by it, because if you just accept any offer that put on the table then you stock will plummet greatly.

Know your worth and invest wisely in your romantic endeavors.

Until next time folks ‘…Keep calm and carry on’