...But They're Cute Though!!!

Raise your hand if you have ever said that looks don't matter or play a factor into who you pick as a potential mate? All of you that raised your hands...you're lying. You're lying to yourself and your lying about your expectations. Point, blank, period. Even in the most un-shallow circumstances the way the person looks or dresses plays a factor into how much we are attracted to them. I have heard stories from friends and even by my own accords of people who have made being cute or looking cute together a priority for the foundation of their relationship. Shaky foundation to start it on but hey read my subtext (this is me...stripped lol).

Currently, me and a group of my friends have a grading scale (HEY YA'LL!!! had to get ghetto for a second) and it deems how much and how far we would go with a person based on their overall look and potential, which goes as follows:

1- 'I wouldn't touch you with a 10 ft pole'
2- 'Maybe on a 'drunk night'
3- 'Yeah I'd do you'
4- 'I need to date you...like NOW'
5- 'WHATEVER you got I caught/Can I live with this disease?'

Graphic but true...I always envision a '5' being the Halle Berry/Stacey Dash types for the guys (or girls) or a Boris Kodjoe/Idris Elba type for the girls (or guys...how you doin'?) The only song I can hear going through my head while looking at a '5' is Mya 'Why You Gotta Look So Good?' But I digress....

As I really sat down and thought about this grading scale we have incorporated into our everyday lives, it got me to thinking about the emphasis on looks we put on others when searching for a relationship. In my opinion, it plays a major factor on how you are initially attracted to a person but shouldn't be the foundation of what your relationship is all about. The cuteness factor and sex are such shallow things to base a relationship off of but we often do it to fulfill our fantasy of what the perfect partner might be. Oftentimes, when we look for that particular '5' we end up sacrificing much of what we believe or truly want to be with that person who 'looks too good to pass up'.

I have had friends literally say 'I don't usually do this but did you see him/her? she/he is bad!!!' And as much as I hate to admit it, I have done it too. Trying to make things work when I know they weren't meant to be but they looked so good I had to make it happen because 'we look so good together'.

In my defense I (kind of) grew out of that, I still have my moments but I learned a valuable lesson while in pursuit of that '5'. I learned that shaky foundations built on shallow grounds will always crumble. Also, loving yourself has to mean more than losing that person because all you have is you at the end of the day. And last but not least, being cute needs to be a plus not a priority. So in the mean time, I think i'll be happy with a nice '3' or '4' that treats me well and makes me happy.

Until next time folks '....Keep Calm and Carry On'