Perception vs Reality

A common thread that I'm finding with most of my friends and acquaintances lately is that when it comes to dealing with people and relationships is the perception of what people have of them as opposed to who they truly are. I was speaking with a couple friends this weekend about their failed attempts at relationships and truly getting to know someone and this was the overwhelming common theme. It seems people love the idea of what that person might be as opposed to who they actually are. IMO this is the problem with America and the media but that's a whole different post...but I digress.

I'm not saying that these people may not have had a hand in contributing to these perceptions of 'reality' but it begs the question in my mind 'Do most people aim to love the IDEA of someone as opposed to the person's actual character when looking to be in a relationship?' Are we consumed with what we look like with a person or what this person can do for me, that we forget to look at what this person is actually all about?

I'm not even gonna front, when approaching some people in the past the first thought in my mind was 'we would look good together' or 'if I'm with this person what can I gain from this' but hey I'm human (kyle shrug) In my maturation process though I have come to terms with my shallow stand point on things and have come to accept more than just a 'cute look', but to delve deeper into that person's character and what their truly about. But as my aspect on what  a relationship should entail changes and I start to see things differently the concept of 'perception and reality' in terms of relationships becomes a little more clear. A lot of questions asked and some still not answered....

'How much do we put out that we would love for someone to love us as we are?'
'How much do we feed into the 'facade' that people have of us as opposed to breaking that stereotype?'
'Do people really know me/them as much as they say they do?'
'Do I really know myself as much I think I do?'
'Am I being as honest with myself and other people about what I truly want as opposed to what people want to hear?'
And the most important question of all 'Do I really love/know myself and know my self worth enough to know that I have a clear distinction between what people think and how I feel?'

A wise person once said 'How are you gonna have someone love you when you barely even love yourself?' Kind of generic but really poignant in answering the questions. I think people (myself included) search for answers and validation in other people before loving and validating themselves to the point where they feel the need to be a caricature of themselves as a kind of escapism. People fall for it and want it to be real so badly they turn a blind eye to what is all going on and miss very important signs. Good ol' smoke and mirrors gets people everytime.

As I go through my journey of the 'perfect relationship' (sidebar: HA!!) I encourage my friends, my readers and even MYSELF to go a little bit deeper, be honest with yourself, and be honest with the people you come to terms with what is presented and what is actually you and the other people's perception of you match your reality.

Until next time '...Keep Calm and Carry On'