You know, I really wish there was a manual on how to deal with relationships and the aftermath of a failed one. It would make things so much easier, but unfortunately after all the love, passion, and shared moments are over there isn't a pamphlet to show you how to deal with it. Should I hate you afterward? Can we still be friends? Am I supposed to be sad? Was this for the best? And ultimately, what happens when I see you with the next date!!!
Post-relationship rules may actually be harder than being in the relationship. People have millions of theories on how they should act while in a relationship but not too much is said about the post break-up rules.
For example, me and one of the people I have dated before have the best relationship we have ever had now that we're not together. I really consider them one of my best friends even to this day, and we even have talks about their new relationship all the time and I can honestly say I can give an objective opinion about it with no malice. I love em with all of my heart but I'm honestly not in love with this person anymore. It even went so far as to me meeting that person's new 'friend' and we've been cordial to each other also. Some people look at me weird when I say this sometimes too. Was I supposed to be mad? Was I supposed to be bitter towards the new person because they have something I had before? Nope, and I refused to be that type of way also. I think we're all adults and can handle that type of relationship accordingly. Besides, the relationship that they have is for them the one that we had is for us.
I have friends who have told me, 'I would never be able to do that, it would hurt too much' or 'I would just die if I had that situation' and I can understand why. I think there is a feeling of what did this person do right that I didn't do to make this work going through that person's mind to make them feel insecure. An even better assumption is that their relationship didn't end on a good note and they're not quiet over it just yet. Which my friends is the key answer to this equation.
Is it safe to say that initially when you break up with someone that you truly are over it or will there always be some residual feelings there? Can you ever truly just be friends with an ex? Or is it best for you to just go your separate ways and never speak to each other again? Whatever your decision may be just have the strength and maturity to deal with whatever consequence that comes with it. I really wish I could give you an answer what would be the best solution would be, but like most of the answers in life they're specifically made for you. What works for me will most likely only work for me, but what I can say is just know that loving yourself means more than losing any one else. POW!!! There's your happy ending =)
Until next time folks '...Keep Calm and Carry On'
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