Like most I have a story....We all do.
It's usually unique to our particular lives and our development as people but most of our stories run in line with one another. This weekend I was having dinner and wine with a few of my friends and we were all sharing our life stories about love, life, and happiness. As we all told our stories we all noticed that most of our stories were pretty much the same. Same family history, same love life problems; lots of congruency and commonalities. Of course there were certain scenario's that were different but the one subject that most of us agreed upon is that we have problems with being happy.
I thought about that for a while after we had our conversation, and really asked myself do i have a problem? Can I just not let myself be happy in any scenario? And what is holding me back from being happy? It seems as though with everything that's gone on in my life, something is blocking me from really letting myself be happy. For example, I'll see something I want to pursue or want some sort of relationship with whether it be business, relationship, whatever the case may be. Naturally I weigh the pro's and con's but I find myself in a 'con first mentality' and always expect the worst to happen.
With a 'con first mentality', you can never be happy because your always expecting the worst to happen even if things go your way. You can never be happy because you're always looking for something to be wrong. It's probably because I'm just so used to things going wrong and people letting me down that I'm just used to the bullshit. I'm not trying to say I'm jaded or anything like that but I live and die by the saying 'Plan for the worst and hope for the best.'
Thing that bothers me the most though is when I finally get something that goes right, I don't know how to respond to it; it just doesn't seem normal. Like when things go the way I want them to I always get this feeling of 'Something is bound to go wrong after a while' because they always seem to. But what happens when things don't go wrong and everything goes according to plan? Can I really accept just being happy in that scenario or will I self sabotage that situation? It's all really confusing but I'm not alone in my feelings.
I feel the first step to truly getting out of that 'con first mentality' is to truly get right with yourself. You have to address all of the problems or things that are plaguing you from fostering healthy relationships before you can move forward. Addressing problems that we carry as a burden in our lives only decreases the stagnation in our progression toward happiness. Like Erykah Badu said about baggage, 'One day all them bags gon' get in yo' way'. Just remember to 'pack light' and you road to happy will be lighter journey.
Until next time folks '...Keep calm and carry on'
We all have an innate fear of failure and rejection. Accepting the good also means accepting all the bad that will come with it. It's just life. It's sad that most people will let you down but it also makes the ones that actually mean you well more precious.
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