Wanting That Old Thing Back

‘Is it a crime, that I still want you, and I want you to want me too…’

Sade uttered those melodic words many years ago in one of her songs as an ode to a love that was lost in a desperate plea to recover what they once had. I heard that song as a kid and thought to myself, it really isn’t worth it to go back to someone you left in a relationship because there usually is a reason to why you left them. At that point I had looked at every situation in terms of what a relationship should be in terms of ideals and what I had heard in songs about what love should and shouldn’t be. Being so young and inexperienced in matters of the heart, it just felt like there had to be ground rules for everything in terms of relationships and especially a break-up.

Then one fateful day love hit and all that shit went out the window…

‘Love’ finally hit me and all the ideals I conditioned myself to believe started getting cloudy because this person rocked my world to the core. And ‘core shaking’ relationships usually affect you in ways that muddy up your judgment even after the love is gone. So when I heard Sade sing that song again years later I finally got where she was coming from in regards to wanting that old thing back. But my question is, what are we really asking for when we want to revisit our past with a former love?

Even with my ‘core rocked’ my sense of judgment isn’t thrown that awry that I can’t think logically with the situation that was. I still steadfastly believe that if you leave a person you were in a relationship with it is usually for a good reason, but sometimes that one bad reason can’t negate the good times you two once shared. And if those flashbacks ain’t a muthafucka then I don’t know what is?

But with every flashback to the good old times, ALL of the memories of the past start flooding back and you go in one big circle of what used to be. And that just leaves you right back at square one of why you separated in the first place. I’ve come to realize when we usually want that old thing back most of the time we usually just long for the thought of being with that person instead of truly wanting to be with them.

Those flashbacks of when times were good overwhelm our judgment and mentally stagnate us from moving on to the next or even with our lives. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with reliving the past from time to time, but it becomes a problem when you get stuck in the past. We all have our moments when we feel like we want to go back to what made us happy with a person from our past, but most of the time its best to let to let it go.

Hold dear the memories in your heart, but leave your heart open to new experiences for love…

Until next time folks ‘…Keep calm and carry on’