Moving at The Speed of Kyle

'....Because I love it'

It's been almost a year since I last logged into my online journal 'Compound Nothingness' but I think I made it back just in time. For a while I had a real internal dilemma about where I was going in life and the direction I needed to take with my blog. Did I want to make this bigger? How can in translate this to the people so they feel me? Did I seem genuine? And most importantly am I happy?

Then one day i just said 'Fuck it!'

I think that was one of the most liberating moments in my life to date. The day I truly stopped letting outside influences affect my everyday psyche. That was the day I stopped feeling sorry for myself and stopped worrying about the outcome of everything and allowed myself to live. No longer was I bound by insecurities and a sense of never feeling good enough and made my own rules.

And the first most important rule I established was 'never try to pressure anything into happening before it's time' which is one of the best lessons I have ever applied to my life.

I feel like most of us go through life feeling like we have to accomplish a certain amount of success before a certain time to prove to the world that we are important. For the longest time I felt pressured to live up to this notion but I found myself unhappy. I found myself accomplishing all of these great things but never taking time to appreciate the process of what was going on. At one point I felt like I was living on autopilot and that's the moment I knew things had to change. Things not only had to change for my mental well being but things had to change because my definition of being successful had changed.

I no longer feel the need to be validated by the world or prove a point to people who ultimately never gave a damn about what I did in the first. I made my own set of rules and started living for me. Gradually my worries started diminishing, confidence soared, and the shell I often kept myself in cracked open to showcase the true me I wanted to be.

So I feel like due to this new enlightenment and secure sense of mind you all can feel me on a whole different level as I move at the speed of Kyle.

Until next time folks '...Keep Calm and carry on'